Jon Kortajarena, Al Desnudo

Lovely red and black to go with SpainStruck!

 

Well, I´m breaking my rule about not “blogging about blogging” again but it´s hardly my fault. Though I aim to write wordy, worthy content on Spain, according to my SEO  analytics (sounds like the Spanish word for an Aragonese cathedral, seo),  the most searched-for term on Google leading to SpainStruck is:

Jon Kortajarena desnudo.

Jon who? you might be asking. And my reply is that you probably know him already since he´s one of the top male models in the world and his face is everywhere.  And he´s Spanish – Basque to be precise.

So even as this search for a nude Jon Kortajarena is unbecomingly low-brow (that supposedly characteristic Basque head shape, the “occipital bun” maybe?) it´s also a mystery since there are no noodie pics of said top model on SpainStruck.

Partly because he´s not really my cup of tea.

But a writer owes herself to her pubic public,  so due to lustful popular demand and a hoped-for boost in traffic, I´m dedicating this post to a man who is apparently gorgeous, as you can see below.

Not Jon Kortajarena´s naked bod

Whoops, how did that get in?

Is it his Basque head or his hairdresser Mom´s styling that makes him so damn cute?

Is it his Basque head or his hairdresser Mom´s styling that makes him so damn cute?

So far, so good.  But “the press,” perhaps the social power that most truly represents us, is determined to show us that Jon is not only physically configured in a pleasing manner but smart, interesting, fun, insightful and talented.

 

The cult of personality, right?

So to help him along to credibility he´s had ”opportunities”.  He appeared as a prostitute in ”A Single Man” starring the truly gorgeous Colin Firth and, of course, where there´s a buckable guy half her age around, Madonna has to get her paws on him and reduce him to a sex toy.

Kortajarena featured in her “shocking” Girl Gone Wild video, which I was about to settle down and endure before I got distracted by this lovely turquoise tea kettle.

Oh God, yes, YES, this is The One

Despite the steps taken by Kortajarena towards being taken as a serious artist, I HAD to Pinterest this sexy kettle.  Salivating, I got a bit drooth and went off for a wee cuppa tea, albeit using an inferior water-boiling method.  Then I engaged in some thoroughly immoral Internet shopping.

You can watch Madonna´s insipid, kettle-and-steam-free video below.

 

But why does a guy who´s in demand for his physical, photogenic and chamaleonic  qualities have to be any more interesting or kokorico,  perhaps, than the rest of us?

As far as I´m concerned, and though he seems to be a nice guy, he´s not, really.

Read what he has to say about himself here

Listen to what he has to say about himself below.

For one thing, he´s certainly not making the most of the opportunity to speak English properly.

“Pretend to be yourself,” he tells us, blithely using what´s called a linguistic “false friend.”

Just because a word sounds the same in two languages it doesn´t mean it has the same meaning in both of them.  And so “to pretend” and “pretender” mean different things.  In Spanish it means to aim to be something and in English it means, well, to pretend to be something.

To be fake.

I can´t help feeling that indeed Jon (or his publicist, who should be sacked) is pretending to be what he´s not here, to the extent that any English -speaker may prefer to get him, not so much into their bed, but their conversation class!

What?

What do you mean “where´s the naked picture?”

I never promised you a naked picture!

I said al desnudo which means “in-depth.”

Honestly, some folk need to improve their Spanish!

 

Comments

  1. I´m sure that would thrill a lot of people but to me most young guys I see seem to be better-fed. Jon´s too skinny for my liking and he´s apparently 6´2″ so far too long as well.

  2. Lurve the kettle!

    Oh – and Jon Kortajarena is certainly not my cup of tea either, And forgive me if I speak out of turn, but doesn’t he look just like every other 20-something male around here?

    Just sayin’

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