Some Spanish words just appeal to you, perhaps because of the context in which you first hear them.
One of my favourites is muermo. The Collins tells us that as an adjective it means boring and as a noun, a bore.
Not very exciting. Yet when I first heard it, I couldn´t stop laughing for days. Here´s why.
A few years ago, a rather up herself acquaintance of mine was having some work done around her very fetching duplex home.
The builder was of the bum-crack variety (la hucha, or money bank, graphically self-explanatory, ¿no?) and completely unimpressed by the finesse of the fifty-something… we shall call her Monica. He was also rather impertinent.
Slightly rattled by this, and perhaps to drive home how uncouth she found him, Monica put on some classical music.
“Imagine,” she later told me. “Poor Madame Butterfly is falling on her dagger to save her honour and this philistine slouches past me, fag in mouth, and says, “Vaya muermo de música.”
Translators, I´m sure you can do better than me but I´d render the builder´s musical critique very loosely as “Just shoot me already.”
And so to Spain´s entry this weekend in Eurovision, Pastora Soler´s Quédate conmigo. It was boring and predictable. I dislike Soler´s voice since, in my view, it would better serve her should she wish to seek employment as a coalman (sorry, coalperson).
Even the song title was unfortunate as quedarse con alguien has two meanings. One is “to stay with someone” and the second is “to take the piss out of somebody”, as in:
¿Te estás quedando conmigo?
Are you taking the piss out of me?
Considering the fantastic music made every day in Spain, I felt it was a piss-take to send this singer and this song to Aserb… Ayzer… Eurasia.
So I had the perfect phrase for the whole thing.
Vaya muermo de música.
And in the spirit of the second, irreverent meaning of quedarse con alguien, check out this vid.